The hard conversations around speech…
I remember the first time I needed to have a hard conversation with a parent. My throat became dry, my stomach was tied In knots, and I could barely get the words out. This parent had just described to me there concerns with their child's speech and language abilities and she asked me what were our next steps. And just as quickly as the words left my mouth, the child's mother went straight to denial. BUT I don't blame her. She Is asking me how I can help her child to achieve the goals that she has for him and my answer Is, "Your child needs additional testing because they are demonstrating signs of autism."
She Immediately denied all of the Information I had provided her through standardized testing, clinical observation, and running records. His mother stated, "You must have done something wrong because my child does not have autism. He can't have autism, he Is so smart." BUT many Individuals believe or unknowingly associate lack of Intelligence and autism, when they are both completely different. Autism Is looked at as a bad word or as something being wrong, but It Is simply a different way of experiencing the world.
Now I know this mother Is not blaming me, but she Is In denial something she already suspected. I explained that I am noticing these characteristics In her child and asking that she consider a referral to receive more help for her child. I explained that the referral can be used for a second opinion and help us both to gain more Information In order to assist us all In gaining more Information about his overall communication abilities.
I explained to her that she should go home and consider the Information that I provided, discuss It with her husband, and In a week we will revisit the topic. Before we ended the conversation I mentioned that we both are on the same side and only want what Is best for her child. I am not saying these things to hurt her.
A week passed by and the child's mother was not Interested In the conversation. She asked that we revisit the conversation In 6 months once she has a re-evaluation. She wanted to give therapy "another go". I explained to her the affects that can occur with delays In assessment and appropriate Intervention. Her child could receive additional services that will assist her child In obtaining the skills necessary for preschool and kindergarten. It wasn't until a whole year later that I realized as a therapist what denial truly looked like. This parent was In denial and using it to cope with her child's delays.
This mom was "not ready" for the autism evaluation, but part of my job as a speech-language pathologist Is to have these conversations with parents, regardless of If they are ready or not. The parent may not be ready today, but that doesn't mean they will never be open to the conversation.